My Last Night With Tequila

It's Cinco de Mayo! National Margarita Day happened in February and National Tequila Day isn't until July, but today is another awesome opportunity to grab chips and salsa and a margarita, right? I am a huge fan of the delicious adult beverage. I like them blended or on the rocks, plain or fruity, salted or sugared, and big or bigger.

One thing I can't do, though, is tequila shots. All it took was one bad night and I swore them off forever. I was 19 years old and finally had friends old enough to get liquor instead of Boone's Farm, beer, or hard lemonade. I was intimidated, but finally got on board with the lick-sip-suck situation after some encouragement from my friends at a house party. And it was goooood. I no longer had to nurse drinks the entire night to achieve my maximum buzz. I could waltz into the kitchen, throw back a shot, and get back to dancing or talking with friends, without carrying a cup around, feeling full and bloated, and having to pee every eight minutes.

On this particular night, I was feelin' good. We were at my boyfriend's house, barbecuing on a warm summer evening. The house was crowded, the music was bumpin', and I was in the kitchen cutting lime wedges. It seemed like I took a shot with every new person who walked through the door and about an hour later I wasn't feeling so hot anymore.

It was only 9:00 pm and after spilling my drink and getting kind of emotional about it, I made my way to the bathroom to calm down and you know, puke. I thought I had composed myself. I laid off the drinks, ate a little food, and mingled. But no. Tequila was still making it's way through my bloodstream and I had to throw up again. Like, violently. When I didn't come out of the only bathroom for about fifteen minutes, a girl came in, held my hair, and cleaned me up. She put me in my boyfriend's bed and went back outside. 

I had the spins and was pissed and jealous and wanted to get back out to the party, but literally couldn't move my legs. So I just lay there, listening to Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys on a small CD player, which was on repeat for some reason. I finally got up, just to head back to the bathroom to throw up again. When I came out, I intended to search for my boyfriend, but couldn't make it past the hallway. I sat on the floor and started shivering. His roommate, Rob (who I didn't really get along with), came over to see if I was ok. He put a blanket on the radiator to warm it up then put it on top of me, right there in the hallway, and walked away. Keep in mind, we had like forty people over and I was just lying there while people stepped around me. So embarrassing! 

The next thing I noticed, the blanket started smoking! It was on fire! I freaked out, accused Rob of trying to burn me (yeah, I did that), and started crying. My boyfriend finally came over to me (I'm sure it was like three minutes later, but it felt like thirty) and walked me back to his bed. 

The next thing I remember, I had to throw up again, but was basically paralyzed. I sat straight up in bed, opened my mouth, and let the vomit flow right down the front of my shirt. I immediately fell back down to the pillow and resumed my rest. I'm disgusting, you guys. Two seconds later I heard a voice ask how I was doing. My friend had been lying on a bean bag chair in the same room. I had no idea he was there! He came over to me, helped me get my puke soaked shirt off and into a clean one and then brought me water and tucked me in. 

The rest of the night was uneventful, thankfully. I slept it off and woke up to a two-day hangover, the worst I'd ever had. My boyfriend's roommates teased me for months about accusing Rob of trying to catch me on fire (somehow this bonded us though; we were better friends after that night) and I couldn't even smell tequila without gagging for about a year.

I did have a shot a few years ago when my uncle was visiting from Florida. Peer pressure got to me. I was able to keep it down, but didn't go for seconds. It's safe to say, that after 19 years, I'm still done with tequila shots. 

Happy Cinco de Mayo!


SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I cringe reading this because most of us have a story just like it and have that thing we've sworn off. LOLOL @ thinking someone was intentionally burning you.

Misty said...

I didn't learn my lesson the first time. I've puked tequila more than once. But it was around the same time you were puking. Those Intergalactic days! I remember playing it on repeat when it first came out.

I'm with you though, if it's not in a margarita I can't stand the smell and definitely won't be shooting it. Ever.

Misty said...

Also, my worst puke story involves PGA punch. Thought I was going to die.

Elle Sees said...

Oh yeah, tequila you devil. Ugh. I have lost all tolerance for alcohol at this point. I keep forgetting that was 20 years ago when I could sling 'em back.

lil desiqua said...

Oh man, what a night! I'd swear them off to if that happened to me! I'm really bad at taking shots (for some reason I just can't throw them back- I taste the entire ting), but tequila shots is one of the only shots I can actually do! I think it's the lick-sip-suck thing, I get distracted by all the steps so I don't concentrate as much on the actual drinking part lol. I used to drink a lot of rum and cokes though, and now I can't stand the smell. I guess we all have at least one that we can't stand!