The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F*ck

“I call it the Not Sorry Method. It has two steps: 1. Deciding what you don’t give a f*ck about 2. Not giving a f*ck about those things.” - Sarah Knight

I wasn't expecting this book to have much substance, but it does! I mean, it's really quick, sometimes silly, and redundant, but it provides an easy plan to help you sort through the things in your life that don't make you happy. I also thought it would be making fun of Marie Kondo's book, but it doesn't. Sarah Knight tells you to sort your f*cks into categories and decide which ones you will stop giving time, energy, and money to. Here are the four.

1. Things. Not just the things you own, but ideas and concepts. If you have annoying feelings about something, stop letting it take up space in your mind. I've recently stopped giving a f*ck about the NFL and having a Pinterest-worthy house. 

2. Work. It talked about conference calls, dress codes, office gossip, team building exercises, buying stuff from co-workers' kids, donating to their fun runs, etc. Knight says that if you don't want to do it and it doesn't impact your performance, just stop.

3. Friends, acquaintances, and strangers. This section had good information about setting boundaries, creating personal policies, and not caring what people think if you say no. It also talked about things like going on group vacations and to kid birthday parties if you honestly don't want to. This is the one I've needed help with lately. I have some people in my life that don't reciprocate the energy I put in to our relationship. I don't think they necessarily want to stop being friends (or maybe they do and I'm not taking the hint?), so I'm done trying so hard. I also don't give a f*ck about weddings (unless it's family; all of my close friends are already married) and flat out refuse to go to anyone's second baby shower. (They just really bother me and feel greedy. I already bought you stuff! Use it again!) I'm not going to feel bad about saying no to things I dread.

4. Family. There was some advice here about creating personal policies and standing by them. Sometimes we bend over backwards for extended family around the holidays when all I really want to do is stay home with my three guys. Jacob and I can decide what's best for us and tell everyone that this is how it's going to be from now on. I like that.

So yeah, it boils down to saying no to things you don't want to do without being an asshole about it. There are great tips on how to prioritize your f*cks so you can use your time and money on things you really care about and start living your best life. 

As I've gotten older, I've definitely stopped giving a f*ck about a lot of things. My priorities have shifted, I don't do things I genuinely don't want to do, and I care less about what people think of me. I'm friendly and polite, I treat my kids and pets well, I recycle. If you don't like me as a person, that's just fine. 


SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Love love love your last paragraph. Co-signed.

I have this book, haven't read it, but I feel like I could have written it.

Jana @ Jana Says said...

I loved this book from start to finish. All of it. And I use "fuck budget" on a daily basis now.

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

I totally read this post the other day and thought I'd commenteded! Anyways, I need to read this book. I find myself doing what I'm supposed to instead of what I want to and that's a shitty way to live. Agreed with baby showers...and every birthday party and baptism, etc. I go to everything then when my birthday rolls around I am given the excuse of friends not being able to go bc of their kids. Homie don't play that!...in my dream. I'm working up to saying no hahaha!

Misty said...

Ditto to the last paragraph, every word.

I have a friend who cares so much about what people think and their feelings. I'm not mean by any means and definitely consider people's feelings, but I'm not afraid to say no or go against the grain. If I don't want to do it, I'm not going to. I don't pretend to like things other people do to fit in. I JUST DO NOT CARE! And that's ok.

Elle Sees said...

I'm reading a book, ok audiobook, on not giving f*cks. I really need to work on that in my life. Ugh!